I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
