Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize