Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
