There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
