Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize