porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
