You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
