now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
