the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
