I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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