i permit you to call me
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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