i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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