my sisters under your porch take her home
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
