So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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