I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
