3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
