Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
