need another drink. this is the easiest way
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
