Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
