Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
