i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We left the knife in your bed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
