So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We left an ass print on the piano.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
