I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
