God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
