What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
