i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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