saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
