She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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