Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
