I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
