I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
