Dual....:-)
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
