it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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