i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
