You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
