I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
