Me too!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
