This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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