you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
