My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize