was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
third nipple confirmed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
