Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
