i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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