you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
