i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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