Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
