I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
