Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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