im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
