I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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