How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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