4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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