You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
