you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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