don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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