I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
