Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
