you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
