Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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