Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
