Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's get the cat blown out
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
