he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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