i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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