All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
