He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
