Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
