I could make wine with my vomit
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
