I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
