You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
