k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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