By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize