we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
