arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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