I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
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