Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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