Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
