with your own penis?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
